People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
