that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's official drugs can't kill me
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
