I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
