Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
