def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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