1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
