Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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