awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
