I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
