There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
