She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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