No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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