so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
