Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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