News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
