Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
