i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
