His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
