Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
