This girl is more easily done than said...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
