party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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