Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
