I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
