Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yo dont text me then not text me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
