Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you inspire me to be a worse person
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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