He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
