we have officially lost it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
