Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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