I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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