I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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