He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
