Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
