i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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