Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
