I can tuck mytits in my pants
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
