My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
