why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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