You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
