Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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