I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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