Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
