Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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