Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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