Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
