i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We have so much sex to catch up on
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize