Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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