we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
