ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
