Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
