My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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