what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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