Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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