Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
As shirtless as possible
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
