On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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