Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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